The Chap Olympiad 2007

July 16th, 2007 by James

Highlights from the Chap & Hendricks Chap Olympiad. Bedford Square, Saturday 15th July 2007.

Shot with the Canon EOS 20D and Canon EOS 3 using Fujifilm Superia X-TRA 400 & Fuji Provia 400 (which I won’t be using again).

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The Chap Manifesto. A book I purchased almost two years to the day, back in July of 2005. Who knew I’d be taking photos at the 3rd annual Chap & Hendrick’s Chap Olympiad.

Hundreds of spectators came to observe and picnic, while more than a hundred competitors competed on the day. They were “judged purely on style, wit, intelligence and mental agility”.

Atters and his lady friends.
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Dali was in town to ensure there was a good dosage of surrealism.
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Those lacking impressive facial hair did what they could to fit in.
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Elegant lady sporting fashionable animal garment.
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This chap has a superb moustache.
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“Nimbly done”.
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Some last-minute trash talking before the official opening of the games.
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‘Fruity’ leads the competitors for a lap around the race course.
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Meanwhile, all has been lost at Jenga.
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The Master of Ceremonies.
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The pipe is passed to all competitors at the beginning of the games.
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First event: Martini Knockout Relay
‘Teams compete to mix a dry martini, without the aid of their butlers.’

Man in the middle thunders toward the table.
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The MC reminds the contestants that perspiration is strictly prohibited.
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Man in the middle slows to a gentle stroll.
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He does what is required of him…
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…and the tray is brought back to the second competitor in the team.
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Now is time to pour the Vermouth.
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After having a swig he eventually completed his task then team-mate #3 added the gin.
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#4 did some shaking and then it was time for ‘Fruity’ to taste the drinks and select a winner.

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A winner is chosen, and crowned on the podium by Gustav Temple.
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Third event: Three-Trousered Limbo
Pairs of contestants share enormous trousers & must wriggle under a steadily lowered pole (undergarments MUST NOT be shared).’

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Event five: Curling
Teams of three must propel a peruke with curling tongs to the finishing post, grooming the grass to speed it along.’

Curling is very serious business.
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Not every competitor makes it to the end.
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A short blast of Hendrick’s Gin & Tonic and he’ll be good as new.
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Event six: The Hendrick’s Steeplechase
‘Ladies are the jockeys of the best-dressed stallions in the country. The hurdles are forbidding, ranging from tins of lager to hoodie mannequins.’

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This duo went on to win the race.
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A case of mistaken identity.
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Event seven: Hop, Skip and G&T
‘Contestants must leap into the abyss holding a Hendrick’s gin and tonic spilling the least number of droplets.

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We have a winner.
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Event eight: Bounders
Six cads approach six ladies and behave atrociously. The winner is the recipient of the loudest slap.’

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Gin & Tonic to the visage. What a waste!
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Atters was triumphant, receiving multiple strikes to the face for his outrageous comments.
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Event nine: Umbrella hockey
Teams of six use their brollies to propel a bowler hat to certain doom.’

Ladies vs Gents. First to score three points wins.

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The Men went 2-0 up, only for the women to charge their way to 2-2.
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A closely fought match. The Gents were the eventual winners.

Event ten: Freestyle Dash
‘Entrants must bring their OWN VEHICLES, which may be anything from a pogo stick to a bath chair. Any number of passengers is permitted. Only motorised vehicles and living animals are prohibited.’

Basket, complete with radio and complimentary pipe.
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Atters tried to flounce the rules, failing in spectacular fashion.
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Lady friends to the rescue.
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Miss Kitten Von Mew invades the race course
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Atters directs his carriage towards the Burlesque streaking beauty.
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Won won the race in the end? I’ve no idea. It was so hilarious I think we all won.

As the day draws to a close, young chaps take to the inflatable chavs to give them a good seeing to.

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Hendrick’s Gin & Tonic is quite a nice drink, as I’m sure this chap agrees.
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FIN

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